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2013 Season Archive

21 years and still going strong. The Church of the Oblongball keeps on trucking, because maybe this ride is a bit more interesting than Space Mountain at Disneyland. Life gets a bit tangled at times, but nothing beats a little football with old friends. Speaking of old friends: Do you remember how Roman could never win the 'big one' - like some kind of 'Browns' curse.' Well, this season was proof positive that anything can happen.

The most critical part of any season is draft day. In 2013, it was a unique occasion. The draft was held in the home of the eventual Superbowl Champion, Roman Warmke. It was a strong Yankee turnout and maybe that could be why a Yankee team won the trophy. Even stranger, is the fact that the Turdknockers would move back to the Yankee division, to make way for the return of an old champion, The Nasty Bastards. Well, those bastards did not quite have the sting like they used to. A small but significant shift happened in the COB universe this year with the realignment.

Rules never change, or do they? Well, of course they do. Nearly every year the league matures a bit more toward the ever elusive goal of perfection. In 2013, a couple tweaks were added to the primary rulebook. First, the fullbacks need more love, so they will now will be awarded two points for every 100 rushing yards their respective team earns. Another change introduced was the fact that failure to enter your picks each week will not be without a penalty. If your picks are not submitted in time, then you will default to the 'Pro Formation' - commissioner's choice, and suffer a minus-five-point penalty. Slackers are no longer free to roam in the Church of the Oblongball.

When it was time to play some real football, things finally got interesting! The Spanish Fly Inquisition kept on rolling from their 2012 momentum (despite not actually getting their name on the coveted trophy). The Whitehall Whiners were perhaps even more determined, but suffered an equally frustrating fate as neither team would even make it to the final dance. After the playoffs did the damage on the season hopefuls, a surprising final couple of contenders remained. The Gravel Pit Gnawlers, no stranger to the big game, would face the famously downtrodden Jughuffers franchise. Well, after 21 long years of trying, the Athens County Jughuffers finally etch their name into league history.

2013 Season Awards:

  • Superbowl Winner:
                     Roman Warmke

  • League MVP: Peyton Manning
  • Offensive Player of the Year: Peyton Manning
  • Defensive Player of the Year: Lavonte David

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